Never Enough

Have you ever thought you’ll never be good enough? Have you ever felt like a failure or that you’ll never do anything right? You’re not alone.

Have you felt that you deserve the pain you feel or the abuse you experience daily? What about respect? Have you been told you don’t deserve the respect you’re demanding? I have….

Have you been told you’re crazy, unstable, unreliable, or an unfit parent? Did you believe it?

Life is hard as it is. When you add a daily bombardment of negativity, it can seem nearly impossible to avoid a lowered self-esteem or feelings of depression.

Have you been through a time where you feel the struggle is never-ending? No matter what you do to get ahead, you get knocked back or knocked down. You’ve tried; you’ve given all you have, til there’s nothing left. You barely have the strength to stand, much less take one more step forward.

New Year, Fresh Start

Then, the year ends and a new one begins. You’re determined things will be different this time. No more pain. No more rejection. No more being the failure you’ve always been. It’s time for a change!! It’s time to start enjoying life instead of dreading it.

You sit down and write a list of New Year’s Resolutions:

• Leave an abusive relationship,
• Stop drinking or smoking,
• Eat healthier,
• Exercise more,
• Be a better Mom or better Dad,
• Spend more time with your kids,
• Be the kind of friend you would want to have,
• Go back to school,
• Get a better job,
• Lose weight,
• Start going to church or go back to church,
• Keep your house clean,
• Stick to your vehicle’s maintenance schedule,
• Start or stay on a budget,
• Get out of debt.

The list could go on. They are all honorable endeavors, some have the potential to change your life completely. That’s what you want. So, you’re all in!!

Even if all of these things didn’t make your list, any one of them can become overwhelming when you still have to juggle what life continues to throw at you. As much as we would love for it to happen, life doesn’t stop long enough for us to catch a breather.

A new year has started and you find yourself facing the same obstacles that you struggled to overcome last year. So…what do you do?

Be Strong and Courageous

The most important thing to remember is to NEVER GIVE UP!

No matter how hard it gets or how many times you get knocked down, don’t stop trying. Don’t lose hope. If you find yourself in that spot and you’re thinking about throwing in the towel, REACH OUT for help!!

I was in that place a little over three years ago, (but that’s a story for a later post) and found encouragement in the Bible. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go” (NIV). We are urged to “be strong and courageous” FOUR times in chapter 1 alone!

It’s important to know that nothing will stop God from loving you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, or how many times you’ve failed, He will still be there with open arms waiting to show you that love.

Romans 8:35-39 says, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Next Steps

Cut yourself some slack. You heard me right. As you revisit your resolution list, chances are high that you will find most of them will take some time and a continued effort on your part. Don’t expect things to be different overnight. It’s been said that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.

Take a look at your list and see if there are small steps you can focus on, or preparations you can make and start there. The items on a New Year’s Resolution list are desired final outcomes, not the journey it takes to get there.

• If you’re fighting addiction, I encourage you to visit our Resource page and find an organization you can partner with.

• If you’re wanting to get out of an abusive relationship, talk to a local shelter, or even a friend that may be able to help. There are often programs available to help you become independent while keeping you safe.

• If your goal is to get out of debt, start with a simple budget and focus on keeping all new spending below the amount of your income.

• If you want to spend more time with your kids, look for things you can do together in your local area. They will ALWAYS remember experiences more than they will material things.

• If you want to be a better Mom or Dad, set aside time you can spend together, even if it’s just hanging out together at home. Don’t forget to TALK to them. 

Obviously, I won’t be able to cover everything on your list here. The important thing to remember is to figure out what small steps you can take to help you reach your goal.

Find Your People

Most importantly, find a support group. Find “your people,” the ones that can support, encourage, and challenge you along the way. A pastor once said that it’s easier to go through the trials of life when you already have a support system in place than it is trying to build one while you’re in the middle of the storm. He was right. I’m living proof that it can still be done when you’re in the middle of the chaos.

A support group can be anything from a circle of friends, church group, counselor, or professional therapy group. You can even find encouragement in some social media groups. So, what are you waiting for?

Find Your People!

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